Sunday scribbles #28: Practicing thankfulness.

Today is one of those days where I find it hard to write about something. Even as I am writing this first sentence, I am wondering how I am going to put down enough words to be content with. Usually when I tell a story, I try to be efficient with my time. In the past I was one of those people who preferred to only hear the keynotes as we say. I mean, why do I need all those side details? It just takes up more time and don't add to the meaning of the story. Well, luckily there are tons of people who would've disagreed with my older self, for if everyone thought like this we wouldn't have had all those great books or movies. Imagine the story of Lord of the Rings: A hobbit called Frodo travels to Mount Doom and destroys a ring which could have potentially destroyed the world. The end. Of course this is a huge exaggeration, but the idea is the same: details make for a good story. I now know that my thinking in the past couldn't have been more wrong, especially when I am listening to a good speaker who is sharing something which happened to him/her. That is one of the biggest reasons I started these Sunday scribbles, and am obligating myself to write one every week: gain confidence in sharing something, rather than only concentrating on the keynotes. The details are what really make a good narrative great because they keep us interested and eager to find out what happens next. My Sunday scribbles have often been centered around one or two ideas, where I do my best to talk for some minutes about these subjects. They could have easily been summarized in one or two sentences, but now you know what one of my goals is.

Today I want to focus on something that is way more important than many people realize: thankfulness. This probably is one of the quick fixes to ease your mind and increase your feeling of happiness. In many books I have read about how to develop a strong mindset, there are always chapters about thankfulness. A thankful person is a happy person, right? Well, when hopping on Google to find a nice quote about this, I immediately stumbled on the following excerpt from an article posted on Harvard Health Publishing:

"In positive psychology research, gratitude is strongly and consistently associated with greater happiness. Gratitude helps people feel more positive emotions, relish good experiences, improve their health, deal with adversity, and build strong relationships."

I haven't looked into the website to check if they are legit, but I have read the article and from experience I tend to know that it is true. Instead of being resentful for what I lack, I have long opted to be grateful for what I do have, and it does add to happiness. Last week there was one specific moment where I immediately felt the importance of sincere gratitude. I had one of those days where it felt the world was working against me. Yes, I also have those kind of these, even when I am a strong believer the world is working for us, rather than against us. I woke up to my alarm clock, which was set way too early to get a good night rest. Of course this was my own fault cause I enjoyed Fornite with the squad a bit too long the night before. I woke up feeling very groggy, put on some workout clothes and got on my spin bike. I really had to push myself to ride with the speed I have set for myself. During this ride, I wanted to post a new reel on my Instagram. I ride for thirty minutes, so when I am not reading a book, I use this time to look for a good song, and post a video on my socials. Picking a song I like can be quite the hassle. Once I found a fitting song, added a short text and hashtags, I was ready to post this video. Instagram thought otherwise. The app was blocking all the time, deleting the sound, adding white noise, ... It just did not feel like posting the fucking video. Thirty minutes have passed, so I had to continue my morning routine, otherwise I would have been late to work that day. I put my phone away in discontent, cause I was already running late by now. Yes, when something isn't working I find it very hard to put it on hold and fix it later. When my morning routine was finished and I had prepared my lunchbox for the day, I hopped in the car and typed the address for today in the gps. Of course, a 45' delay due to traffic, just what I needed.. Now, for about 60% of the locations I need to visit for work, it's not the worst thing to arrive late. Unfortunately this was one of those other 40%. It's also extra annoying for myself because I don't like being late, especially when I am always waking on time due to my morning routine (yes, I add time for the usual traffic delays our country daily has). So, in summary: I had a shitty morning and was running late to an appointment where being on time was.. pretty important. You probably have an idea how I was feeling when I was standing still in the traffic jam, and seeing the gps adding minutes to my time of arrival. It was at that moment that I knew it was in my best interest to practice gratitude. Eh... Gratitude? Your morning has been shitty as hell, you're running very late for an appointment, and you're stuck in this traffic jam. What the hell should you be thankful for right now? Oh, well I can name a few. I recorded them in the car, because typing in the car isn't the safest option. So here are the things I said to try and change my mood from an annoyed and rushed one, to a calm and thankful one.

"I am thankful for the heating in this car."

"I am thankful for the music I get to hear while being in the traffic jam."

"I am thankful for my job which gives me a lot of freedom."

"I am thankful for the small bit of sun which is shining through the clouds."

"I am thankful for this day."

I am happy to say that this immediately had effect on my mood. I went from being agitated to being content, and the rest of the ride went very satisfactory. I was okay with the gps still adding time to my time of arrival, because at that point I couldn't help the situation. It was quite the easy choice: accept it, or feel grumpy for the rest of the ride, maybe even the rest of the day. Now if you're thinking that saying that you are thankful is some hocus-pocus stuff, I am delighted to say that it is. In situations like these it's a quick fix, but it's also beneficial in the long run. I have recently started a journal, where at the end of the day I write down three things I am thankful for. This takes no more than five minutes, because till now it has been very easy to come up with three things. Yes, they can be as small or as big as you want. For me they go from being thankful for the chocolate I got from my grandmother, to being thankful for myself. This last one isn't said with arrogance, but rather with contentment. It's important to be thankful for yourself as well, something we often forget.

So if you want to live a life where gratitude gets to play a bigger role, I can strongly advise you to keep a journal like this. Daily write down something you are thankful for. For those of you who want to try out something else: here are some other ways to cultivate gratitude on a regular basis, according to the article I have mentioned previously. Give it a short, it won't hurt, and it will definitely help. Even if you don't need it, it's always nice to add some moments of gratitude to your day/week.

Write a thank-you note. You can make yourself happier and nurture your relationship with another person by writing a thank-you letter or email expressing your enjoyment and appreciation of that person's impact on your life. Send it, or better yet, deliver and read it in person if possible. Make a habit of sending at least one gratitude letter a month. Once in a while, write one to yourself.

Thank someone mentally. No time to write? It may help just to think about someone who has done something nice for you, and mentally thank the individual.

Keep a gratitude journal. Make it a habit to write down or share with a loved one thoughts about the gifts you've received each day.

Count your blessings. Pick a time every week to sit down and write about your blessings — reflecting on what went right or what you are grateful for. Sometimes it helps to pick a number — such as three to five things — that you will identify each week. As you write, be specific and think about the sensations you felt when something good happened to you.

Pray. People who are religious can use prayer to cultivate gratitude.

Meditate. Mindfulness meditation involves focusing on the present moment without judgment. Although people often focus on a word or phrase (such as "peace"), it is also possible to focus on what you're grateful for (the warmth of the sun, a pleasant sound, etc.).